(Today, I'm going to write how I talk so here's a taste of my vocalizings!)
Just thinking that I'm at one of those "what's the point?" moments. I have all these goals of what I wanna be doing. And you know what, I'm gunna do them. I'm tired of being annoyed with stuff I "have" to do. I really just want a job that I actually wanna do, but that just seems to be too much to ask sometimes. Really? That's just lame. I think it would be totally sweet to have a job just writing. Writing about whatever is happening or hitting my brain. That would be sweet. Can artists really survive anymore? I feel like artistry has been so romanticized and we're all stuck in stupid jobs doing crap that we swore we'd never do as kids. I guess that's where I'm stuck. In that kid mindset, where we still have dreams that we want to reach and be rockstars and dancers, that's where I am. Thing is, I don't want to be a rockstar or a dancer, and you might not either, but you do wanna be happy.... whatever that means. Excuse me while I fantasize, my ideal little world includes me waking up in the morning to a cup of tea and a beautiful view followed by some strumming on my guitar while nibbling on a bagel. The rest of the day is spent working with animals and kids, just bonding and building relationships. Hanging with friends and not having to be anywhere on time. That's what it boils down to; being on my own time. Who doesn't want that?
I have all the motivation in the world. It's just all trapped inside my head. I could rule the world inside my head. I'll be damned if I can put any of it to action though. You know what I mean? In your head you can blast through the day miraculously, but when it comes to actually doing this you're lucky to accomplish 1/3 of it. That's why life has to be measured some other way. Beyond the crap we accomplish and into the relationships we build. People are more important. There's no question in that for me. So, I'm gunna stop being a wuss.
This is kind of funny to me b'cuz this is how I encourage myself. I literally whine about crap and get insistent on the way I think life should be. It clears me up for a few days at least. How about you? How do you get yourself motivated?
